Why Am I Doing This?

Almost a year into running my business, I find myself questioning if what I’m doing is exactly what I’m meant to be doing?

A few weeks ago, my partner asked me if I would land a full time job, good salary and benefits would I take it? I had to actually take a moment to think before I responded. At that moment I thought about what if I did get a cushy job, that meant being secured every month with a salary and securing my future with all the benefits that come with it? Then something in my mind clicked. The reason why I started. Why I actually decided on being an entrepreneur.

It wasn’t about security, about how much money I could make or whatever benefits, or lack thereof that came with it. I started cause this is what I want, what I’ve always wanted. This is my passion. My dream. So I responded and said, no I wouldn’t take it, at this moment I know I’m where I need to be.

So many times we jump into running our own businesses for the wrong reasons. I’m pretty sure I’m not one of those people. I’ve always been someone who wanted to be in control. Control of what I want to do and control of who I want to be. When I started studying PR I knew from the get go that I’m moving into a career path that I’m very passionate about and in order to be fullfilled in it, I needed to own my own company.

Over the years a lot of things started showing me the path that I needed to take to lead me to where I needed to be. It was always there. Every job I worked at, I was always so frustrated, no matter how excited I would be when I started, few months in, it was not for me. Soon after graduating I tried freelancing, working a few jobs that I could get my hands on. More and more it proved to me this is what I’m meant to be doing.

I remember coming across a company website. It was about a small communications agency that had the same values and objects like the company I wanted to own one day. I booked marked it and kept going back to it everytime I thought about my little agency.

Last year I decided to quit job hunting. It was the most frustrating and draining thing I’ve ever had to do. Frustration was not due to the time and effort in applying but I was asking myself what am I putting so much energy and effort in something I know very well is not for me? So I will land a job, go work there, get paid a salary I know will not be enough and probably deal with an annoying manager or boss and come back home and feel like death cause I’m stuck in an environment I do not want. Why do I want to put myself through that?

So I jumped into running my own business full time. At 24 and a young baby boy I embarked on a journey one certain people, including my parents would say is ideal for someone like me. Fast forward a year later, I’m happy, fulfilled and content about my journey so far. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been challenging, I’ve been frustrated and annoyed. But I wake up every morning happy to do it all over again.

I’m doing what I’m doing for my dreams, my passion, my values and for my happiness. That is what is important more then security and settling for what I know I don’t deserve.

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